Happiness, not Power
I have spent time with a lot of leaders and founders over the years, and they were, on the whole, miserable people. I have been reflecting on how power often gets confused with happiness. It’s a mix-up that’s so common, and it’s intentionally normalized. But it’s horrible to see what that confusion costs when you zoom in.
Power is seductive, no doubt about it. It’s the adrenaline rush of a deal that puts you on the map, the dopamine hit of thousands of followers hanging on your every word, or the glow of an envious glance from someone who wishes they were in your shoes. But like any good hit, it’s fleeting. Soon, you’re chasing the next big thing to fill the emptiness.
Happiness, though? That’s a different story. It’s quieter. It’s more about feeling whole than being envied. It’s sitting at the dinner table and really hearing your kid laugh, or walking into your home and feeling deeply connected to the people who live there. It’s finding purpose in what you build—not because it impresses others, but because it makes life better for you and the people around you.
But here’s the thing: all of these founders sacrificed joy on the altar of power. I’ve seen it again and again—divorces, parents missing out on their kids’ lives, friendships disintegrating under the weight of endless “grind mode.” I’ll give up everything that makes life rich and meaningful to build something big enough to make the world envy me.
And for what? To soothe some invisible ache—whether it’s proving yourself to a parent, standing up to an old bully in your head, or trying to fit into a system that celebrates power over all else.
Money is a tool under capitalism. It can solve problems and create freedom of choice, movement, etc. It makes life easier in tangible ways. But chasing wealth for the sake of power? That’s where joy gets left behind, and exploitation jumps in. Because power isn’t about creating or connecting—it’s about conquering.
Joy doesn’t live there.
So Where Do We Go From Here?
This isn’t about throwing ambition out the window. Ambition can be a beautiful thing when it’s aligned with what truly matters to you. But it’s about stopping long enough to ask yourself: What am I really chasing?
If the answer is power or envy, that’s a problem. Because no amount of success will be enough to fill the gaps in your life that only connection, meaning, and presence can address.
The real flex isn’t building something that makes other people jealous. It’s building a life that actually feels good to live and doesn’t depend on another’s exploitation.
This could mean prioritizing your family or health, creating a business culture where people actually thrive, or choosing slower, sustainable growth over burnout. It’s not easy to swim against the current of a world that worships the hustle, but it’s the only way we will survive as a species.
Joy might not get the same headlines as power, but it’s what keeps you grounded. It’s the thing that makes all the work feel worth it—not because of how it looks from the outside, but because of how it feels on the inside.
Power might seem worth it, but joy is what makes life valuable.
